Blessings to you and yours. This past week was one with many trials and I’ve experienced a lot of oppression but thank God we made it to the final writing of these series on kids. The topic I’m writing from today is “My legacy”. There are few definition you can find on the term legacy but when it comes to this context these two definitions do fit.
Ad. 1 You may ask what is it that I past on to my children and the next generation there after. Well it’s plain an simple. The teachings of the bible may be engraved into their hearts as The Word of God traveled through generations out. As been pointed out before it is my duty to start them off right in the way they should go. It’s my responsibility to teach them the Word of God, How to pray, What worship really means and why it is so important to stay in the Lord that He may stay in us.
Ad. 2 You may ask which school I attended to well I’ve been to school with Jesus (Books of Matthew – Mark – Luke and John), After this I’ve attended college at the Word of God. (Thru the Bible), and now I’m attending at the University of the Holy Spirit as John and Peter. (As in the book of Acts.) This is what I’m going to teach them, so when they grow old they will know where they came from and that it is their duty to pass on these teachings to the next generations.
You see the bible says in Proverbs 17:6 “Old people are distinguished by grandchildren;
children take pride in their parents.” (MSG version)
You see grandchildren are a crown to the age, they bring joy to them, they are being spoiled by their grandparents (if it where you doing something that was not supposed to at that age it may have turn out completely different, now you hear leave them be)
Children take pride in their parents. In order to be their pride you must have done something good, like loving them, educating them (spiritually), feeding them, clothing them, covering them (prayer), helping them, being compassionate to them etc.
The bible says in Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and mother so that you’ll live a long time in the land that God, your God, is giving you.” While reading this you can read also that you need to give them something so they can honor you in, bring them up, learning them the ways of the Lord and giving them the space to serve before the Lord. While providing this, they will experience their own relationship with God. A kid can only honor what they know. When the Psalmist is writing in Psalms 119:9 how young people can keep their paths clean “How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
By living according to your word.” Further more the scripture also says that we need to keep the commandments in our hearts.
Proverbs 1:8 states the following :“Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.” This right here implies that both the father and the mother has a role in imparting Godly wisdom into their kids. Both has a task to fulfil. As it was my mothers task to bring me to church, teach me about God’s word and start me off right. Believe me, I wasn’t always as behaved as I am today. I can clearly remember one day I was rebelling against her and she said in a very calm and serious way “I fear for you, do not forget that one day you will have your one kids and they will act out as worse or worser than you just did.” With other words what you sow you will reap. This right here got me thinking, had shaken me, woke me up. I didn’t want to be that kind of person, I wanted to change, that kind of change you experience when you meet God and has encounter Jesus following by living through the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Many of the chapters in the book of Proverbs has this line written “My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you.” (Proverbs 1:8 ; 2:1 (willingness) ; 3:1, 4:1,4 ; 5:1,7 ; 6:20 ; 7:1 ; 8:10-11, 32-34 ; and so one in the following chapters. If you seek for this line you’ll find it integrated in every chapter. This here shows us that as parents, we need to repeat our selfs more than ones, more than twice. Their whole life we need to impart in them with love, kindness, compassion, grace… You see they need to be willing to develop their zeal for God’s teachings, Word. They need to know to fear the Lord. Not by pressing on to them just by saying you must, you must, you must, cause this will led to rebellion. After this they don’t want to listen anymore but by modelling it to them it will penetrate into their hearts. As we have been instructed with love, patience sometimes in parables, sometimes just by questions asked that puts us to thinking for ourselves what would Jesus do. Learn them to pray about it and find out what is God’s desire. Learn them to live a holy life led by the Holy Spirit.
You can see through generations how the Word of God is passed down, this legacy is passed down in the lineage of Jesus (Matthew 1:1-17) This is a legacy that is continuing to be passed down to others. We will start in our own home and from their we are to spread it out. That is why we can read in John 1:1-5 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome[a] it.“
By repeating the Word on a daily basis it becomes part of a child it will be like a natural instinct. Like when somebody invites them to steal or do something against God’s will, they need to know what the bible says about stealing or any other topic of the matter. Kids need to be able and given the chance to develop that kind of attitude that comes in alignment with what the word of God says. Attitude is a certain behaviour to a certain subject/topic. You will act conforming that which you know and have experienced. It is simply a settled way of thinking or feeling about something.
As parent patience is they key word to instruct a kid. You see not every kid is the same and to be compared they have their own characters. They are unique and needs to be handled with care. They are innocent and fragile. They are in the molding process.
What does the bible says about spanking? (I don’t refer to abuse!!) The books of Proverbs is a guideline for us to bring our children up Proverbs 13:24 ; 23:13-14 ; 29:15,17 ; 22:15. However it serves as good in our own relationship towards our Heavenly Father.
Practical teachings, this is a method I myself apply it’s a 7-steps plan provided by Focus on the family is: (optional but it is biblical though, everyone has their one ways and know their kids better) – my kids have the ages of four and six so this works perfectly in our home.
- Clear warning: this a warning that certain behaviour will not be tolerated.
- Establish responsibility: a child needs to own up his/her misbehaviour. This an example how this step can be achieved:”Bounty/Boopy, what did you do wrong?””Nothing. All the kids were running in the hallways of the church building.”
“Try again. What did you do wrong?”
“I ran into the hallways …”
“I’m going to give you one more chance. What did we talk about?”
“I’m not supposed to run in the hallways of the church building.”
“So what did you do wrong?”
“I disobeyed you.”
- Avoid embarrassment: All this accomplishes is shame. Take them to a private place or wait until getting home. I had the learn this cause I was brought up in another form so never knew what the damage actually was. So now I just wait or if it is a serious matter I call them in a private place to talk about the matter or I just whisper into their ears.
- Communicate grief: I don’t want to necessarily know that I am angry but I do want to communicate that I am disappointed in certain misbehaviour and that it should not happen again. Or I just let them know that my trust has been violated cause they knew better. You see as parent our self we live in a sinful world and when we fall short of the glory God looks a at us with a grieving heart just as a loving Father.
- Flick your wrist: Spanking – It’s to sting, to provide a painful deterrent to misbehaviour, not to injure. “When you spank, use a wooden spoon or some other appropriately sized paddle and flick your wrist. That’s all the force you need. It ought to hurt — an especially difficult goal for mothers to accept — and it’s okay if it produces a few tears and sniffles. If it doesn’t hurt, it isn’t really discipline, and ultimately it isn’t very loving because it will not be effective in modifying the child’s behaviour.”
- Sincere repentance: After a spanking we call them my husband or I call them and this is the perfect time we can and will model love and let them sit over our lap, hugging and just talk about what happened. I don’t like spanking, so I often say sorry as they ask for forgiveness and excuses them self for the misbehaviour. These dialogues trains them up for a life relationship with God. A life of relating to God humbly and honestly as no other experience could experience.
- Unconditional love: Some of my most intimate times with my children is after a moment of discipline, my husband can testify about this. I will call the kids, and tell them that I am sorry but that sometimes it is necessarily, I will tell them how much I love them and that I don’t like those kind of moments so together we can work on the missing things to prevent the same misbehaviour to happen a next time. This learns them that God forgives us for our sins but that we must really repent at the core of our heart to not repeat the same mistakes over and over.
This was the final writing of the series on kids. I hope you’ve enjoyed it as much as I have. I pray that these words will bring transformation and be a blessing of any kind to you. Through trial and tribulations but I made it an you made it.
With loving regards,
Shaina Li Domitilia-Margaritha